Conspiracy Theories I Must Discuss...


I said not long ago that I would cover conspiracy theories in this blog. I've said that I subscribe to several of those theories.

One thing I truly believe is that there are ancient powers, devices, and knowledge that has not been lost. And that possibly, since the dawn of humanity, there has existed information and possibly technology that was handed down to humankind from a civilization of higher intelligence. Also that there exist several branches of a secret ruling body of the human race that have directed the course of history since our story began, and hidden the knowledge from the general public.

To get to where I am in this belief at this time in my life would entail letting you in on years of research and discovery that I've gone through. Things about the collections of ancient monuments built across the world about 6,000 years ago that present a map of the sky about 12,000 years ago, things about Sumeria, and the root of all creation myths. Anomolies like batteries in geodes, gold chains in coal, hieroglyphs of astronauts, Bloodlines, and Arks, and Grails, and monuments on Mars... Seriously, years of putting together pieces of a puzzle, reading and studying from masters of archeology, ancient history, geology, metaphysics...

Please understand that I'm not paranoid, and that I don't worry about this stuff. If it is, then it is. Big deal. It's been going on for a long time. If it's not true, it won't ruin my life. I think it's all very interesting. I like to wonder about it all. And it's great material for science fiction.

Here's an idea that ran across my mind, and apparently, other people's as well:

I thought that when the U.S. invaded Iraq, it was to steal ancient artifacts. Seriously.

I'm not the only one, either. As soon as the war began, others began postulating.

This site--Future Technology From the Past-- links the events in Iraq with a powder that's believed to be the quest of alchemists--the elixir of life. I ran across this a while ago.

It tells a story that is similar to many that I found at the beginning of the war: As soon as the invasion of Baghdad began, the museum was secured by U.S. troops. The museum was looted, while guards stood at the door. The worst part of the looting took place four levels below the ground, in vaults that had multiple layers of security, which were opened with codes and keys--secret safes containing mysterious objects from the dawn of our civilization, items that vanished under the cover of gunfire and the watchful guard of the soldiers surrounding the museum.

The story certainly gives credence to the idea that one faction of a secret government is battling another, or at least that the leaders of Iraq had found something that the government of the U.S. wanted in that museum.


Here's a bit from the theory presented at Future Technology From the Past:

"Anti-gravity, longevity, cures for AIDS and cancer, limitless free energy, faster-than-light space travel --- no wonder certain persons would go to any lengths to obtain, or conceal, such knowledge. As detailed in Jim Marrs’ “underground bestseller” Rule by Secrecy, the United States has long been governed by men connected to secret societies such as the Council on Foreign Relations, The Trilateral Commission, the Bilderbergers, the Illuminati and the Freemasons. All of these groups can be traced back to even earlier societies, all with a particular interest in alchemy and the occult.

It may well have been this interest and knowledge that prompted certain U.S. leaders with secret society connections to desire sending troops into Iraq in 2003.

This desire may have been intensified after ABC News reported nearly 400 ancient Sumerian artifacts were discovered in Iraq in 1999 in the southern Iraqi town of Basmyiah, about 100 miles south of Baghdad. The Iraqi New Agency said the objects ranged from animal and human-shaped “toys” to cuneiform tablets and even “ancient weapons”. At least one cylinder seal depicted a tall person thought to represent the ancient King Gilgamesh. The antiquities were dated to about 2500 B.C., said excavation team leader Riyadh al-Douri. Further discoveries in Iraq were made in 2002 and early 2003 by archeologists from the Bavarian department of Historical Monuments in Munich, Germany using digital mapping technology.

According to spokesman Jorg Fassbinder, a magnetometer was utilized to locate buried walls, gardens, palaces and a surprising network of canals that would have made Uruk a “Venice in the desert.” This equipment also located a structure in the middle of the Euphrates River which Fassbinder’s team believed to be the tomb of Gilgamesh, the ancient king who claimed to be two-thirds god and only one-third human. An epic poem describing Gilgamesh’s search for the secret of immortality was inscribed on clay tablets more than 2,000 years ago and is thought to be one of the oldest books in history. Reportedly, other astonishing finds were being made during this time by both German and French archaeological teams given permission to excavate by Saddam Hussein. It may be worth noting that Germany and France were the two nations most opposed to the U.S. invasion in 2003."


I'm tellin' ya, the world is a weird place. And it's as good a reason as I've heard about why Bush wanted so badly to invade Iraq. It may be that it's just another battle in the long war fought between two families that rule the world.

Isn't it fun to think about, anyway?

News?

I was cruising around online today, and found an article written in November about a dolphin found near Japan with two extra fins near its tail. Weird, sure. But obviously leftovers from when dolphins lived on land.

It's been known for a long time that dolphins and whales used to live on land, and that they were hairy. (I think I've even written about hairy dolphins recently.) I'm no biologist, or paleobiologist, or paleo-anything. But I know that dolphins walked around on land for about 60,000 years until they decided to make a go of it in the ocean. Or maybe it was that they went to the seas 60,000 years ago. (There's something about sixty thousand years...) We all know that, right?

So this article says, "...a bottle nose dolphin captured last month has an extra set of fins that could be the remains of back legs, a discovery that may provide further evidence that ocean-dwelling mammals once lived on land..."

"...may provide further evidence..." Now, that means that it's a disproven theory, right? That there is evidence to be gathered before a conclusion can be made. That there's a raging debate.

Then why would very same article say, two paragraphs later, "Fossil remains show dolphins and whales were four-footed land animals about 50 million years ago and share common ancestors with hippopotamuses and deer. Scientists believe they later transitioned to an aquatic lifestyle and their hind limbs disappeared."

Why is further evidence that they used to live on land needed? What more evidence can there be? Duh.

Is it the media, or is it scientists? Because if it's scientists, then we need some better ones. (We all already know we need new media.)

Anyway, I gotta go hang out with the hairy dolphins from down the street. They've got some homemade beer or somethin'.

Weird Weather Wipes Us OUT....

I'm afraid we brought weird weather to Olympia.

We had the driest summer anyone around here could remember. It was a very nice summer. But Odd. (That's odd with a capital "O") It rained on only three or five days from June to September.

November was the wettest month EVER on record in the area. It also snowed, and freaked everyone out around here.

And just last week, we had the harshest windstorm EVER. Many, many people (60,000) in our city have no power. We were very lucky in that we lost power for only a couple of hours. People have been without electricity (no heat, either) for five days so far.

We went to Safeway today, and there was hardly any cheese, or yogurt, or milk. It was weird. No frozen foods at all.

Everyone outside our neighborhood who has come over has said, first thing, "You have power?!" I feel guilty for being lucky enough to be part of the ten percent of uninterrupted electrical service.

I would feel very guilty if I really thought it was us moving to the area that caused such weird weather. But if it's true, we've at least paid in part.

The wind tore quite a few shingles off our roof, leaving a large exposed patch. ~~Side note: our insurance agent climbed up on our roof yesterday and patched the holes. Our insurance agent. What a great dude, huh?~~





It also knocked over a section of our fence. Luckily that only fell into the grouchy old lady who lives next door's garage. Had it broken the window, I'm certain we'd have had the National Guard rapping at our door at 3AM.

As it was, I missed a piece when I picked up the shattered fence the next day, and we had to hear about it. Loudly. We also got to hear about how the shingles in OUR yard came from OUR roof. She told us about that about twenty minutes after I'd told her that when she crept into our yard to pick one of them up. I also asked her to not pick them up, since our insurance agent was coming over to see the damage. She had her roofer come over and pick them up out of our yard after he told her there was no damage to her roof. So she called to tell us that.




Weird, huh? I mean, that we're breaking all these extreme weather records. It's either us, or global warming. And since science, the media, and the government finally admit that there IS such a thing, I'm going with global warming. (It takes the pressure off of me.)

Send love to the Pacific Northwest, will ya?

Time, Light, and Money...


I'm behind the times (and oh, so punny), I know.

But I ran across this article today about a physics professor who's pretty sure he's able to prove time travel. He just needs the funding.

So listen up, all you billionaires reading this blog: Send this guy some money!

He's doing it using circulating light from lasers, a la Einstein's crazy-ass relativity theory. I'm sure it's all very complicated, but if I understand, the lasers, bouncing off of mirrors, are formed into a circulating light beam that warps space.

He says we should be able to travel through time within this century. Crrrazy, man. Crazy.

Check it out here:
Time Travelin' Teacher

PayPerPost by Van Vintallicus....

As you know, I've been taking advantage of the technology at hand to make crazy videos for PayPerPost. They pay me for it.

So, not only do they pay me to write about things I'd most likely write about anyway, but they give me money to make absolutely ridiculous little films. I love to do that anyway!

Here's one they paid me to make. The only conditions were that I be a spaz. Yeah, like that's hard to do... I enlisted the help of my old friend, rock and roll circus performer, and alter ego, Van Vintallicus.

Get paid to make videos just like Van does! Check out PayPerPost.

Hope you liked it. Unfortunately, I'm handling all of Mr. Vintallicus's fan mail. Please just comment here, and I'll compile the millions of fan letters and pass them along to him.

There Really is Water on Mars...



I was a believer in the face on Mars. After the high-res images came back, I stopped believing in that. It looks like it's probably not a face. (Unless of course, the government is hiding the truth...) Okay, I still hold out hope. And those other "hills" look a lot like pyramids, still.

I am a believer in the fossilized microbial life found in the Martian rock chunk found on Earth. It's obviously real.

I believe there was (and perhaps still is) life on Mars. To what extent, I'm not sure. It's funny, actually, it doesn't seem to be such a big deal now, believing that. I remember when it was... People used to think it was ridiculous. Maybe I'm just out of touch and a debate is still raging. But here's my point:

Chalk one up for the believers. This is the Astronomy Picture of the Day:




It shows where water has flowed out of a crater wall within a space of five years. The photo showing the gully created by, "...a fluid that behaved like liquid water and likely transported some fine-grained sediment along with it..." was taken last year.

Check it out. There is water on Mars. And it's flowing.

Water, as we know, is a great place to find life...

PayPerPost vs Old School Marketing Ideals in the Form of a Big, Dumb Robot....


I haven't been doing all the blogging I should be in the past couple of days.

But it's because I've been working diligently on a crazy film project. It's about PayPerPost fighting a robot. I kinda like it. If I only had state of the art equipment, it wouldn't have taken as long as it did. But with the difficulty I've had with the editing of this two-minute thriller, comes a feeling of accomplishment.

Like PPP, overcoming the hurdles that life sets in your way only makes the end result of your work that much sweeter.

So here's what happens when The Old School Robot of Non-Consumer Generated Marketing comes after the new guys with the new ideas:



And it wasn't a complete waste of time, either. I might not have been typing down my strange thoughts and finding weird stuff to showcase, but I was gettin' paid. Not only did PayPerPost give me the theme for my film, but they paid me to make it. Gettin' paid for havin' fun... Isn't that my dream job?

PayPerPost--get paid for blogging. (and makin' movies!)

Love, Robots, and Birthday Wishes...

I'm putting together a sort of short film, and haven't seemed to have time to do much else. Well, I did read my wife's blogs. She gave me lotsa love. She's good that way. She's always sending some love to someone. I like it a lot.

It's one of the great things about Terri that made me want to marry her. There are many other great things. I cannot list them all, my fingers would swell after so much typing and I would begin mashing a bunch of keys at once, and nothing would make sense.

But to say something that becomes obvious the moment you meet her, beyond her great looks, sexiness, awesome motherhoodness, wit, charm, and intelligence, I'd have to just say, she's cool. Real cool.

True cool. Like James Dean cool.


This is the day before my birthday, and I know the things Terri's doing for me tomorrow (because she gave me a 'before my birthday' card). I get a massage (from an actual massage therapist!) She's letting me sleep in. She's making me peanut butter-chocolate brownies. She's renting a movie for JUST ME AND HER to watch together. She's ordering, and picking up our favorite Mexican food... I think that's about it for the grand-awesome-superest-rad-gob-of-birthday-gifts my lovely wife is gifting to me. (I told you she was cool.)

So for her, because she's striking like the morning sun, I'm posting a photo I took this morning, with a poem I wrote a long time ago about the morning. A morning with a sky like this morning's sky above our home:

I took the photo through the screen so as not to disturb my dear sleeping wife and lil' ZV.

Here's the sappy ol' poem about dawn:

~Wish~

Came the dawn,
brushed across the sky
and hotter with each death of a cloud.
If I could hold its heat,
possess its awakening beauty,
be the power that it is.
If I could taste the earth
with the tongue the sunrise wields,
turn ice to water,
wake lives to the morning,
I would live the edge of night for eternity.
If it were my unfolding arms
that brought petals open,
if my crisp light shone
upon your face and caused your smile,
I would trap myself as
a nameless wave.
I’d give up speech, and even thought,
and the chance to be recognized by you.
I’d give my body,
all that I presently mean,
to lift the cold dark curtain of night
so that I might be the first light of day.

It's sappy. But it's also elemental. The dawn was striking enough this morning to prompt me to hunt for the camera. It's called "Wish" (for my birthday). It's my solar return. I guess, though a little sappy, it's fitting.

With a greeting from the sun like I had today, and with all the love Terri gave me in her blogs, it's going to be a good new year for me, starting as it is.

Even robots think so.

(the above photo is a preview for the movie project I'm working on. the above robot is not really endorsing the future happy goodness for my upcoming year that I may be leading you to think he is. robots are sometimes jerks.)

Interplanetary Exchange Students and the Race Car Drivers who Love Them....


Observing the weird is like watching a car race. The kind where the cars drive in a circle at tremendous speeds, jockeying for position now and then. The kind of race that gets boring--circle after circle of cars speeding by. The kind of race where you wish there would be a wreck, just to make it interesting.

I've got a feeling there's a loose wheel in this race:

Cruising around, reading the latest on UFO's a few days ago, I ran across this page on something called Project Serpo. It's a site which "is intended to facilitate the gradual release of confidential documents pertaining to a top secret exchange program of twelve US military personnel to Serpo, a planet of Zeta Reticuli, between the years 1965-78". It involves some strange claims made by an anonymous source who claimed to have worked for the Defense Intelligence Agency. These claims were first presented on a private message board about UFO's.

Basically, what is claimed (and later by more than one source), is that there was an exchange of ambassadors between our planet, and the planet where the beings from the supposed Roswell crash come from.

I read some board entries from the anonymous source in 2005. One of his claims involves the (fairly well-known) story that there were two crashes as Roswell. He gives detailed information about the crashes, and alien beings that survived the crashes. These aliens were said to have contacted their planet, and were rescued. This is when the alien exchange program began. True or not, it's rather interesting.

It's believed that three human men went to another planet as part of this exchange program. One of them died on the alien world, one went crazy, and one came back fine. That's the story. At first it was said that there were twelve individuals, but a second source came back to confirm most of the story, but add that there were only the three "bird colonels" who went.

Here's a video interview with the Project Serpo site developer, Bill Ryan. He can tell you in his own words the whole story as he knows it.

When this story first hit, there was a lot of buzz about it. (That I completely missed) There's a great discussion board blow-by-blow at the Above Top Secret Forums. There are, of course, sites dedicated to disproving the story. Here's one: The Truth About Serpo.

High speed car wreck? Certainly seems inevitable.

It'll get the race fans on their feet.

Mind you, this isn't news to the diehard fans. They've been watching this leg of the race for a couple years. Sometimes I'm slow to get back to the circles of cars in the race of weird. Sometimes I'm stuck in the pits with one of the racers, and sometimes I'm actually out there racin'.

I missed the beginning of this heat in the race to uncover the truth about the strange things we see in the sky, and the involvement of our government with the drivers in other races. I'm glad I finally tuned-in to this one.

What do you think?

Shopping Doesn't Suck....


I like to shop online.

Let's face it. It's eventually going to be the worldwide preferred way to shop. Who wants to go to a store? Well, maybe a Second Life store. But that's online, isnt' it?

As much as I'm interested in this human race of ours, I'm not big on crowds. I don't have a high tolerance for numbers of people. I've been told (outloud and with frowns) that it's a lot lower than is expected. It's not uncommon for me to be referred to as a hermit, and most of the time it's true. But I don't need to leave my house, most days. I've got the internet. I can find whatever I need from the comfort of my home, and usually everything I want--delivered to my door.

At any rate, I shop online for most things, and certainly for things I need during holidays. Black Friday=Number One Worst Hell in the Universe to me. I like to find gifts for my loved ones from right here, sitting on my ass.

But even sitting here and shopping isn't all that easy. Sometimes it's hard to find what I want. Fortunately, there are a lot of online shoppers out there, and some of them are really good at it. Even more fortunately, some of them write about what they find, and how to find what you need and want.

Further fortune has shone on me by way of finding a trustworthy blogger out there who's spreading the shopping Word. An online shopper named Colleen has a shopping blog I can trust.

BuyMeBlog -- Smart, easy on the eye, just personal enough, and savvy. Let's call those the tags for this blog from me.

I've not met Ms. Colleen (I mean online, of course), but I've been reading some of her other blogs lately on recommendations from my wife. Though BuyMeBlog is a new one, I'm betting its going to fill fast with useful shopping tips delivered with style, humor, and a personal view.

Colleen is both smart, and funny.

She doesn't just list great deals, and good products, she tells us the story behind her shopping adventures. Like these knives:

Not only does Colleen tell us all about this knife set, she tells us the story of how she came to buy two sets. It's the personal info, and just the right amount of it, that makes this a blog I'll visit.

I like her honest approach to this blog, too. Colleen's not just giving us the inside scoop on great deals, and handing out coupons for us to use, she's also reviewing the things she's already bought, and warning us of things not to buy, like sheets that pill up and make sleeping all icky and uncomfy: Don't buy these sheets!

Thanks, Colleen, for starting this blog. Now I can sit on my butt and shop with a little more information, and a smile or two while I read your reviews.

Add BuyMeBlog to your list!

Maxim Measures Myths...



In keeping with the strange theme I've got going on, and all the weird research I've been doing lately, (I'll soon be telling you about this 'alien/human ambassador thing' I stumbled across this afternoon...) I thought I'd put in a word about Maxim Online's new Urban Legends section.

It's both hilarious, and revealing. It's a look at legends and myths, most of which I'm sure you've heard of.

I was surprised by the number of what I thought would surely be Urban Legends that were actually true events, or consequences.



Or even things that I took to be common knowledge. Like Myth #19, which says in part, "If you keep shaving your head, the hair will grow back thicker.The truth: False.Sorry to say, but all that shaving you tried at age 10 in an attempt to cop Tom Selleck’s look was for naught..."

(Magnum's mustache!)

I honestly thought that was a medically sound fact. I would swear that it's happened on my body. I've got this patch on the back of my neck that begs to differ. But hey, maybe they're right. They do quote experts.

At any rate, I learned how to really compute dog years. Yeah, most of us are wrong, peeps. Check out Myth #23.

I hope they add more to this section. It's illuminating. And just weird enough for a few minutes of light strangeness in the afternoon, in between all the government conspiracies, and time traveler dementia.

You should check it out. If you haven't already clicked a link to do so, you can do so here:
Maxim's Common Myth and Urban Legend Debunkkment Section.

(Soon we will discuss the strange affairs of human and Zeta Reticularian citizen exchanges. You know... that weird stuff I was talking about earlier.)

Maybe I'm Googling All Wrong...


I'm interested in time travel. Everyone is, right?

Many of the stories I write deal with traveling through time. The latest short story I wrote (everyone pray with me that it gets published!) is about it. Actually, the one I wrote before that (more prayers, please) for Glimmer Train's Short Story Award for New Writers contest, was about time travel, too.

Hmmm... Thinking about it, most of my stories have some element of time travel in them. The novel I wrote involves time travel. So will the next two novels that go with it.

Apparently, I'm very interested in time travel. I wonder what that means.

~~~~

Wow. I'm so interested in it that instead of finishing this entry hours ago when I began it, I instead spent the afternoon searching through time travel and related sites. It was a wild afternoon.

I started out reading this crazy report about some college girls in Utah who slipped into another time, or dimension, driving back to campus from a nearby town. They were chased by people who were not human who drove egg-shaped, tri-wheeled vehicles. They lost their hubcap somewhere in time when they made their escape back to their own time/dimension.

I found this report about it: Gadianton Canyon Encounter. This is on the Jeff Rense website, a paranormal type news magazine. It came from an article in the UFO Roundup on a site called, UFO Info.com. This seems to be the only report there is on the subject. There are other sites that have the same report, but there's nothing else about it.

While it sounds really cool, and obviously scary, and I wish that it were true, I can't believe it really happened. There's not enough information. And there's geographical discrepencies in the story.

I did find a site (and didn't save it), of html coded message board entries. One was from a guy who'd researched this, and couldn't conclude it was true or false. He, like I, didn't feel the need to take the time to research it further. And he wrote about it years ago. It seems no one has found a need to dig further into the truth of the incident. At least no one who's talking about it.

But that's where I started. Looking for the truth of that particular story.

Then I found places like-- KeelyNet --it's a site all about alternative science. They issued a challenge for any time travelers out there to prove that they can travel through time (hee hee!).

The webpage is from 1998. It doesn't look as if anyone's accepted: The Challenge. At any rate, there was no news at KeelyNet about time travel. Most of the articles were ten years old.

I went off on some missing time tangents, and read about some aliens, and conspiracy theories for a while, and then made my way back to time travel.

I read old news about a guy named John Titor. He claimed, in the years 2000 & 2001, that he was visiting from the year 2036. There's all sorts of craziness involved with his story. But it led me to a post on a message board (Anomolies Network Forums)that asked the very question I'd been asking myself as I was looking for crazy links to include today:

Is time travel dead?

There doesn't seem to be much interest in it. At least, not on discussion boards, and active websites. Though the person who started the above mentioned thread seems to think interest might again be on the slow rise. Google didn't bring up much. Well, there's these guys...

If people aren't interested anymore, it would mean my earlier assertion that everyone is interested in time travel is totally wrong. Anyone who knows me knows that that can't be true.

And where have all the time travelers gone? No one's bragging about being from another time on any of the boards I found today. There's no New Age site out there with a fresh new lead on a group of time travelers hidden in a cave. What's going on?

If there are any of you out there, feel free to contact me, and we'll get your story out there, so when I Google time traveler, something current will come up.

Until then, I'll keep writing science fiction.

A Year of Bed Head...

Bed Head the Movie is live!

For those of you who don't know, I spent one year taking a picture of myself every morning. I compiled them into a gallery at my website. It's right here: Shameless Creations . We took that insane gallery of my pillow-styled hair and turned it into a movie. Well, Terri did. Then she made an abridged version.

This is the abridged version:


You can find the one with every single picture (365) right here: Long Bed Head Movie

It was a lot of fun. I hope it makes you laugh.

Thanks so much to my lovely and talented wife, Terri (who sometimes goes by the lovely and talented pseudonym Musing Stardust--or even Terri Muse), who edited the 365 photos of me in the morning into some sort of tangible entertainment. Thanks to the Quickies, my two friends in Milwaukee, who make some of the best music in the Universe, who provided some of that music for this project.

If you like A Year of Bed Head, feel free to jump on over to YouTube and grab a copy to embed. Pass it around. Do what you want with me, I'm sleepy. Bed Head at YouTube

And remember, if you have hair, and you sleep in a bed, you're a Bed Head at least once a day.

I know it says so at the end of the flick, but the gallery has comments that I wrote in the morning. Usually before coffee. Sometimes they're dumb. Sometimes they're not. Most times they are. But if you'd like to check that out, please do.

Let me know what you think.

Thanks again Terri and the Quickies!

Porch of Reflection


I was just on the porch, smoking (which I'll probably be doing very shortly again), when my mind meandered to one of my favorite words.

I've got this spot on my website where one can add their favorite words to a growing list of excellent examples of letter-combinations that people love, where I'd normally add this word.

But since I'm being a good blogger, and still finding my groove, and using this as one of those personal diary sort of thing with the hope that the junk I blab about hits a common chord in a vast sampling of my fellow humans, I thought I'd put that word here. With all these other words.

Volition.

I love that word. I like how it sounds. Powerful. Almost sinister, but quite the opposite in meaning. It almost says violence. It almost makes me feel like that's what it says. Volition makes me hear the strong cello notes of a vapid symphony. It pries at something in me. And somewhere in it there's a field of white flowers under a skyfull of sun.

It's the act of making conscious decisions.

Here's a spot to read the definition: Volition

So while I hear music, and see the perfection of Nature down in those three syllables, I feel the violent chaos from which those two gloriously arranged living patterns are born. And it feels like the home of my soul. That's the scary part of volition.

I'm conscious of my free-will. I like to think that I spend my days in a constant state of volition. But of course I don't. Not here in the day-to-day level of things, anyway. There is more than my own volition at work in the world, and many times during a single day, I will be bent to the will of another.

So volition is standing up. Claiming power.

That shit is scary.

Because with a tiny amount of power, comes a tiny amount of responsibilty. Imagine what that would say if you changed the word "tiny" to "great" (wink-wink)... Who the hell wants to be responsible?

Volition is a hard word to handle.

Definately one of my favorites.