Missionaries and How I Love Them
No, it's not an invitation to ring my bell.
It's an invitation to read my story.
My flash fiction bit about missionaries and their motivations, Mission Accomplished, has been published today at Every Day Fiction.
I'm happy that it's being well-received so far this morning.
Please drop by and check it out if you've got a few minutes. You can tell me what you think about it right there under the story.
Thanks for reading and have a rad day filled with toothy grins and neck-rubs.
posted by Kevin Shamel at 9:46 AM
7 Comments:
Can we bow our heads in prayers right here?
Hm. No head-bowing here, but pray all you want as long as you include anywhere within your prayer, the inclomplete sentence, "And send Kevin Shamel more money."
I will, Kev, but I'm not sure anything will come of it. I've been praying for months for a winning mega-millions ticket and see what that got me.
A stack of worthless tickets.
BTW, I have a sure-fire method for getting the little Mormon boys to move along.
I tell them I'll be happy to talk to them, if they will just sit and wait while I finish chopping up the body in the wash tub in the basement.
For those few who come in and sit down, I ask if they would like a tall glass of warm blood while they wait.
See... Here's the thing:
The original story was much more bizarro-ish and had all sorts of REAL things that we used to say and do to the poor fellows to see how long it took for them to run away.
That stuff was cut for editing sake.
But seriously, I did eventually grow fond of Mormon Missionaries, and after I grew up a little, I stopped being a dick to them.
Now I really am quite nice, and send them off with water or have them chill on the porch with some lavender lemonade.
They know right away that if I grew up where I grew up and I'm NOT Mormon, that they haven't a chance to get me that way. But they also know that I'm most likely a friend. Which I am.
I have some dear friends who were the peeps in charge of All Missions in Argentina. I'd do anything for those people. They'd do anything for anyone.
But yeah, I've scared away some suits in my time. :)
Kevin, you always write at sooo many levels! "This is not an invitation to ring my bell."
Hey, if there's an entendre, I'm doubling or tripling it...
:)
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