Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton!

I saw a dolphin today. I thought it was Bigfoot at first, because it was a land-dolphin. It was eating a banana and talking on a cell phone, too, so I thought it might be a Paris Hilton wanna-be at second.

I was all, “Dude, aren’t you some sort of banana-eating, phone-gabbing, hairy dolphin?”
And he goes, “Yeah.”
And then I was like, “Whoa. That’s freaky.”
And then mall security came and punched me in the head. That’s all I remember until about an hour ago when I woke up in my room with Paris Hilton. She’s hot.