Poor Me

I went to military school. It really sucked. I had to do lots of pushups, and run around a lot in the tropical Texas heat. I ate shitty food, got yelled at every day, had to sit and study for three hours a night, had to stay on base, never got to wear civilian clothes, learned how to brainwash people, got brainwashed, was beaten, saw people die, beat people, wanted to kill people, got a girl pregnant, partied in Mexico and on South Padre Island, smuggled drugs across the border, smuggled drugs into school (and cigarettes, and food), broke hearts, broke noses, broke out one kids front teeth, lost my mind, stopped giving a shit about my parents, decided I hate the military and the government, did acid for the first time, partied with the mafia, and generally had a bad time, or a great time doing really bad things. Got out and had to see a shrink. I’m 35 and I’m still not over it.

Don’t send your kid to military school. Don’t ever do it. No matter how bad they seem. They will get worse. I promise.